


Where Do I Stand?

by Star_Crossed_Aliens



Series: A Family in Space [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Id tag spoilers but im sure everyone has seen it by now lol, Takes place after Season 4, There is like one curse word, everyone else is mentioned - Freeform, keith cries, lance is there with a hug, not sure if I want klance to be a thing in this or not, oof decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Crossed_Aliens/pseuds/Star_Crossed_Aliens
Summary: Keith reflects on past experiences and his feelings toward them - But he isn't sure where he stands in life.





	Where Do I Stand?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Thanks so much for sticking by and reading! I know I take /forever/ to update but writers block and motivation is hard to come by. They've both enlisted in the war and damn it they hate me so much they stay away from long periods of time.  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!  
> Btw this one is actually proofread lmao so have fun with that.

  _It was never easy._

_Being on my own but I made it work. Shiro was always a constant in my life and I'm not sure what I would of done without him._

_He kept me in check. Kept me from losing myself after my mom left me and my father's ill-timed death._

  
Keith ducked as he dodged the staff the gladiator bot swung at him. He swiveled on the ball of his foot and landed a kick into its side. Forced the bot to stumble back and creating an opening for Keith to impale the metal chest plate with his sword.

The raven wiped the sweat on his forehead and watched the bot crumble to the floor in fit of sparks, "begin training level four !"

Keith lowered his body, taking up a defensive stance as a new bot dropped from the ceiling.

The gladiator twirled it's staff in a flashy motion before it took up its own stance. That was something Keith appreciated about these training metal bodies. It was like their programmed to show off. Made it a little more real. Plus they learned from the battle beforehand.

There was no way this bot was going to fall for the same kick the last one did. The gladiator launched off it's back foot. Aimed the end of it's staff at his head, Keith dodged by rolling to the side.

It wasted no time in following up and swung it's staff into Keith's side. Sent him flying to the other side of the training room, "damn," he grunted and pulled himself to his feet. He held the side of his abdomen where the staff struck him.

The bot dropped back into its stance, pointing the staff at Keith as if it was singling him.

_  
Though I guess I did end up losing myself in the long run. The walls I built to keep other people from walking in and stepping all over me ended up pushing them away._

_Not exactly healthy is it? I'd rather reject them before they reject me. Keep all my problems to myself. Well, attempt to anyway. I have a bit of a temper and my... Issues come out as aggression._

_Maybe that's why I'm here now._

_Not for something to do while we're stuck out here in space. Not to hone my skills to better face off my opponents._

_All right that's sort of a lie, I do need to perfect my skills. It gives me something to do but it helps release my anger, stress, the like._

_Shiro disappeared after his fight with Zarkon. No body seemed to care. It pissed me off. No one would listen to me and then I became the black paladin. Pissed me off even more._

_I retreated to the safety of the training deck. Ignored the other's comments and pleas to join them for some team bonding._

_They worried._

_I could see it in their eyes but hell if I cared._

  
The bot swung it's staff down, colliding with Keith's blade. Keith gritted his teeth and pushed upward only to sweep the bot's legs out from under him. Once again impale another gladiator. It fell to the polished floor with a sharp thud and he ended the training sequence there.

The bayard returned to its resting form as the floor sucked in the fallen bots, an efficient way to clean up.

Hot water belted out of the shower head, washing away all the grime and sweat from today's training. He exhaled, a hot shower always felt good after a busy day. Soothed his sore muscles. He should care though, they're his team.

He considered them family.

Even if they [ mainly  Lance] were annoying.

He might of been too hard on them during that time. Lance helped him through it, he was never cut out to be a leader like Shiro was.  Keith raised his head to greet the steaming water, red patches developed on his otherwise fair skin .

Keith shut off the water and stepped out of his private shower, throwing a towel over his head and wrapped a second around his waist . Keith dragged the towel through his hair, it dried enough so it wouldn't drip down his back and onto the floor.

Now that he thought about it Lance wasn't as annoying when the position of black paladin, forced upon him. He was helpful when Keith needed him most. Kept him in check like Shiro did. They grew a little closer after that.

It was subtle but they fought less, he helped Keith when he needed it even if the raven didn't want it.

The man exited the bathroom and came face to face with his Blade uniform. Keith's jaw set at the sight of it. Reminding him of several times he had almost lost his life in their hands. Yet, the information they got was worth the near death experiences.

The "no man left behind" train of thought was a foreign concept to the Blades. He thought that was insane. His team was like his family but the Blade thought otherwise.

Keith left the room, pulling the hood up as he walked down the hall toward the hanger where a pod was ready for him. These halls, the cold metal flooring; silent save the soft sound his boots made.

His pace slowed as he neared the closed hanger doors where his former team, his family waited to see him off. He stopped short of the door.

_  
"The shield is too powerful to break through!"_

_Keith couldn't of heard that any clearer. Voltron was too far away. Their weapons were powerless against the particle barrier that encompassed the enemy ship. He had a plan. Everyone he knew, Shiro included would definitely kick his ass for such a bad idea but to Keith? There were no such things as "bad ideas" only good ideas but with poor planning and poor execution._

_This was one of those plans._

_Keith directed the front of the stolen fighter to face the enemy ship. He didn't hesitate to reply, "not with our ships."_

_The raven gunned it toward the particle barrier, his jaw set in determination. He heard Matt's protest but chose to ignore it. Denied it. The front of the barrier drew closer and he shut his eyes. He squeezed them tight and hoped his death wouldn't be in vain and swift._

_He expected the sound of an explosion and that's what he heard but he hadn't rammed into the barrier yet so why? Keith opened his eyes to see the flames, pulled up on the control columns and evaded the impact, shocked._

_He followed the direction of the blast and his eyes widened. He recognized that ship. That same ship that toyed with him when he, forced to lead Voltron, and the rest of his team were finding their ground. Allura in a lion for the first time, Lance in Red. They were all a hot mess and Keith didn't make it any easier on them._

_"Way to go Keith!" Shiro's voice crackled over the coms. They were still pretty far away but all line of communication had been open for this mission. Word spread like wildfire that the barrier was down, "that wasn't me... It was Lotor."_

  
Keith hung his head low, eyes downcast as he stared at the floor between his feet. He should be grateful for the prince for saving him from doing something fucking stupid. All he felt at the moment was incredible sadness and terror. His had rose to cover his mouth. First his shoulders trembled, than his hands. Soon his whole body succumbed to the soft tremors of choked back sobs.

What was he thinking? Sure it would of been for a good cause, save millions over one life. He wasn't cared for. His parents abandoned him! He pushed people away before they could do the same to him!

A soft hiccup escaped through the tight clasp of his hand. Someone cleared their throat from behind, alerting Keith of their presence.

Too distraught to care Keith lifted his head, crossed his arms like he was hugging himself. He looked over his shoulder, tears streaming down his cheeks like waterfalls. Lance shifted his weight from one foot to the next, brow pinched in confusion before it lessened.

Keith turned to face the blue paladin and wiped his cheeks dry before he spoke, "what do you want Lance?"

Lance did that little wiggle with the corner of his lips; sucked them in before he ground them together. It was a wonder they staid so full. Keith caught himself thinking if he had in alien chap-stick, he could use it with how often he gnawed his bottom lip. Keith dragged himself out of his poor choice of thinking when he saw Lance move.

He raised his arms, stretched them out. Wide, giving Keith a full view of his wing span. Everything about this boy was long. Long legs. Long arms. Long torso. Keith stared at the brunet, eyebrow raised  questioningly . His tears all but stopped.

He was about to ask what the hell he was doing when Lance's huff filled the silence followed by his voice. "I'm offering a hug, Keith, you do know what that is, right?" Lance  vaguely  recalled Keith saying he didn't "hug strangers". Lance wasn't a stranger. He was a teammate, a friend. Yeah they definitely graduated from "rival" status to friend status.

Keith glanced from both arms and back to Lance before he relented, "I know what a hug is, dumbass..." The raven closed the gap between them. He pressed his forehead against Lance's shoulder, arms no longer hugged himself. They dangled beside his own body. Lance wrapped his arms around the smaller boy with a snort, "says the guy who won't hug me back, c'mon Keithy boy! Repay my kindness!"

He scoffed and redirected his arms around Lance's waist. He was hesitant but more goading from the Cuban made him tighten his hold. He pressed his face harder against the sharp edge of the brunet's clavicle.

A comfortable silence surrounded the duo. Keith squeezed Lance in a silent attempt to show that he appreciated this. Whatever this was that they had going between them.

Lance hummed and tightened his own arms around Keith, holding him in place as he spoke. There was no way Keith was running from this little pep talk, no sir, "Matt told us what you tried to do."

Keith's body stiffened. Matt told?! Of course he would, he was looking out for him but once a snitch always a snitch. Keith didn't say anything as Lance continued.

"I had a whole speech ready for you, planned to punch you too," Lance laughed  dryly . He raised a hand and buried his fingers into the soft black locks of that dastardly mullet. Lance carded his fingers through his hair, "but you look like you realize what you've done... You have a family, Keith, they're right here in this castle. Don't throw your life away, please."

If Keith wasn't crying before he was doing it now. Lance was right. His "self-proclaimed rival" was right, always was when it came down to it. Sobs wracked his body as he tore into Lance's jacket, face hidden from view. Lance's voice was soft in his ear, gentle shushes and gentle coos.

What felt like an hour but was actually only ten minutes, Keith pulled away. He stepped back and wiped his cheeks and eyes dry with the back of his sleeve. Lance shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled  warmly , "better?"

Keith nodded and fixed the Cuban with his own soft smile,"better."

Lance's smile turned into a grin and slung one of his arms around Keith's shoulder, "good, you come home alright?" The hanger door opened when Lance pulled Keith around. It was empty safe for a pod and the rest of the paladins and Coran. They looked angry, disappointed but that was fine. Keith didn't care. Lance lifted what spirit he had left.

Lance used his free hand to wave in front of them, toothy grin all too wide, "we'll be waiting for you."

They stepped through the door and before it shut, separating Keith from the rest of the castle he agreed. He knew where he stood. Knew all along. He stood with Voltron. With the paladins. With his family.


End file.
